17 weeks

So a little (alright, more than a little) behind schedule I had my first doctors appointment today. And my very first ultra sound. They did blood work for testing of birth defects. It was a rather exciting day, I got to see my growing baby for the first time and I got to hear the little ones heartbeat. I watched as my baby squirmed and wiggled around, I still cannot feel his/her movements but the ultra sound tech said that can be because my placenta is in the front and the baby will need to kick through it in order for me to feel it. It'll be like kicking a pillow for the little squirt. It was pretty awesome seeing Justin and my creation moving around, made me really aware that I am creating a new life inside me. So 17 weeks along I am going to ride out the end (hopefully) of the morning sickness and begin to put on some weight from the growing baby. And soon our little one will join the world. We both miss Justin and wish he could be here for all of this but we know he must be away at this time. I make sure to keep him updated and I will be sending him copies of the ultra sounds so he can have the first picture ever of our growing baby. Each day I get more and more excited and I grow more and more attached to our little bundle of joy as it grows inside me.

Hard

It's been only three days since he left and man is it taking a toll on me. Although today I am feeling better than I did yesterday so I think I will get to the point where his absence will just be a dull ache in my heart. Today I need motivation, I must pack and pack and pack. I have to have boxes ready to send home today... It involves so much effort :( Finals week is next week and baby and mama are feeling the stress of that. I need some stress releasing tips. I try deep breathing and positive thinking plus a number of other things, but nothing seems to be helping and I don't want my stress to cause any problems with the baby, I want a healthy baby. We begun to pick out names, we've got the girls name picked: Evalyn Kesleigh Blevins, but we are still debating on a boys name. I'm so excited to be starting my family, I just wish he was going to be here for the beginning of it all. I just thank God that I have the friends and family that I have, they really are the best support system anybody could ask for. I am one lucky girl. And I know it's going to be hard, it's going to be the hardest thing I've ever done, but in the end it's more than worth it and I know I am strong enough to handle it!