The Beginning

On February 29, 2012 my fourth at home pregnancy test came back positive. I took the test because my February period did not show up and I was beginning to feel funny. I was shocked and kind of in denial. I crawled into my bed, buried my head under my covers and tried to pretend it wasn't happening; I mean, I'm only 20 years old and a Junior in college, I'm not ready to be a mom am I? I took a picture of the very positive pregnancy test and sent it to my fiance. He apologized to me. Just a simple "I'm sorry hun". However, I knew he was secretly as excited as could be. My fiance is leaving for his second deployment and wanted nothing else in the world than to have a child before he leaves. I'm just terrified about going through this all on my own. I'm going to have my family and friends there to all help me but it's not the same as having the man who put this baby inside me to scream at as I'm tearing myself apart giving birth. But I'm strong and I will make it through this.

So after that first night of denial I began to formulate how I was going to tell my mother. I was dreading it but once I finally did it (like tearing off a Band-aid) I felt so much better. She took it so well. Everyone did. They were all excited and talking about all the plans they would have like the baby shower and the buying of clothes and baby items. The more they were excited the more I became excited. Maybe I was ready for this after all.
My fiance came up to see me a few days later. He treated me to Buffalo Wild Wings and a movie. When we made it back to my room he gave me the best massage ever. He was so sweet and kind. He's so cute and so excited. We were sitting in the parking lot of Buffalo Wild Wings in his big new diesel truck. He looked in the back seat and then looked at me and said "There are car seat hook ups in the back, I've already checked". It was so great.

We plan on getting married before he leaves so the baby will have legitimate and legal parents when it is born. The hoops you have to jump through to get married are insane, I guess I never realized it before. I'm excited and sooner than I'm quite willing to admit I'm going to be a mother and I'm going to be starting my family. I hope I'm a good mother and I hope he is a good father. I do know we are going to make mistakes, that's a given, but I know I'm going to try my hardest and I'm very sure he will as well.

We've decided we don't want to know the sex of the baby before it is born so in reference to the growing fetus in my womb we will call it Baby Blevins.